In Celebration of My 7th Anniversary of Brain Surgery

One of my all time favorite songs starts out, “I had a dream I was by the Jordan.”  I recently had my own dream that I was by the Jordan.  Actually, I was by Bunny River, which is an overflow tributary of the water shed of the Salt River.  Named by your truly, Bunny River runs through the land where I grew up. 

In this dream, could remember everything in my life that happened before my brain surgery, but nothing in the 7 years since.  I thought about what I remembered; a time when fastpitch softball was the only thing that mattered, my awe and fascination with the projectors at my high school job at a movie theater, thinking that my 4 older siblings were the coolest and most popular and coolest kids in their grades and wanting to be just like them. 

I was overwhelmed with sadness when I realized that I could not remember the past seven years.  During my lament 2 of my childhood dogs, Gallie and Shiloh, came to comfort me. They each had one shoe from my favorite pair of tennis shoes, which I have worn for the past 3-4 years. 

In those shoes I had walked across a river near New York City, cheered on Sporting Kansas City as they headed to the top of the table, and climbed to a mountain top in California.  The shoes attended classes at the University of Missouri, played for hours with nieces and nephews and even attended the 2013 Missouri Annual Conference. And I could remember those events now. 

I could only remember events that had happened while I owned the shoes, so I had so many questions like how did I get to the University of Missouri, what led me to New York and California, and the Missouri Annual Conference.  Why was I at a soccer game standing next to some girl I didn’t recognize?  (sorry Lindsey, I will never forget you and your awesomeness)

And that is when I woke up [still] bound for the promise land.

This dream made me realize how precious the past 7 years have been.  I have lived my life to the fullest every day, even though it wasn’t always easy.  I realized how precious my college ministry was to me, after all my college ministry and Erin Medin are part of the reason I was at the Missouri Annual Conference.  With Mexico United Methodist Church as part of the reason I was in California and New York.  Truman State University is how I got to the University of Missouri.  And how can I forget Jenny Massa inviting me to the Flame Ministries where I met Lindsey who introduced me to Sporting Kansas City.

When I was 14 years old I decided that I would treat everyone I interacted with like they were the most important person in the world.  That has been a great experience. You never know when you won’t be able to see someone again, so be present, grateful and respectful around everyone you get to interact with.  Also, walk humbly with God.  Walking humbly with God will do wonders for you.   It will.

I know that lots of this post probably only makes since to me.  Something I have always been worried about losing is my memory.  I know that the part of my brain that the tumor is in controls my movements, but stillmy memory is important to me.  Just as my memories are.  It is important to me to understand how that 14 year old girl I was became the awesome person I am today.  Thank you all so much for reading my post and sending me cards and telling me what an inspiration I am, it really is your kindness that propels me.  Thank you.

I'm Going to Have a Stuffed Animal Party Today

Those of you who know me, know that I have this somewhat annoying habit of waking up in a ridiculously good mood.  A common Facebook post states that 9 out of 10 children get their awesomeness from their aunt.  In my case all 11 of my nieces and nephews are awesome, and I think it is safe to say that all of them get at least some of that awesomeness from me.  My nephew Ethan my not wake up in a good mood at the frequency that I do, but that kid is one wise dude. 

I visited home recently and on the day that I was headed to the airport to return to CA, I got the pleasure of waking him up.  I crawled up next to the five year old and whispered, “Ethie boy!”  With his eyes squeezed closed he said, “I’m gonna have a stuffed animal party today.” 

Without even fully waking up Ethan knew that the day would be a day worth hosting a party.  Every day that I wake up is a blessing and as ruff as a day might look they still are blessed days that are worth having a positive attitude about. So despite everything else, it is still a blessing to wake up every morning.     

Do What You Can

Yesterday I read an amazing book called Hitler's Daughter.  It was written by Jackie French and it made me think about some hard questions.  In the book Hitler's daughter is kept secret, and she does not know of the outside world.  When she hears that many Jewish people would rather hide or run away than go the the "work" camps, she prepares a place for the runaway Jewish people to find solitude. Hitler's daughter cleans a place and covers it with straw, she hides non perishable food items such as jams and jelly's among the straw.

In the book no Jews ever come to place the main character prepared for them, but she still did what she could.    The book was meant for young adults, but I really enjoyed it and it made me remember that even when something big and out of my control happening, I can still do something.

Often to me doing what I can means praying.  I can't solve many of the problems of the world by myself, but what I can do is pray.  It is what you can do.  In fact, it was the King says to do in that Christmas Song, "Do you Hear What I Hear?"  The king says, "Pray for peace people everywhere."  Even though you may not be able to make world peace happen, you can pray, and after all, all you can do is all you can do.

Where I see myself in the Nativity: A Wise Man

I have always wondered, what role would I have played if I had been alive at the time of birth of Jesus.  On the ninth day of Christmas, I had a light bulb come on inside my head.  Notice I didn’t have an epiphany; that was still a few days away.  I would have been a wise man.  I do have wisdom beyond my years, but what makes me similar to the wise men, is that they went to seek out a child.  The wise men traveled for days or even years to find the child, and when they did they fell prostrate and worshiped him.  The wise men were so happy to see this child. They were determined to protect this child because they knew that they had seen one special baby.  To protect the child they had to deliberately deceive their King by returning home a different way, an act which could have had a costly price.  With the price of defiance in mind, the wise men protected the child. 

The sight of a child can make me so happy that I often want fall on my knees to interact with that child.  While I was at my home church for Christmas Eve service, I saw a child and I was so happy I just wanted to hug him.  I was in the front row and after I had taken communion, I walked the length of the Church into the narthex.  That is when I saw the one year old that made my heart melt.  Then I knew exactly how the wise men felt, but it would be days before I was able to connect my feeling to the feelings of the wise men.

A little later that night, after I had blown out Brooke’s candle, I had the pleasure of meeting Flint.  He is a 4 month old, born on the day I was commissioned as a missionary for the United Methodist Church.  When our eyes met for the very first time he smiled really big, because he knew that something special was happening. 

I know that my gifts are with children, and when using those gifts Christ flows through me to children and their families.  

2013 Year In Review

This is my last post for the year, so I think it should be a reflective post.   This year began, as most years do, in January.  In January, I was sort of a lost person looking for something to do with my life.  I had it narrowed down to two things.  The first was to become a teacher, while the second was to go to seminary and become a pastor.  So I started being a substitute teacher. 

In February, a friend sent me a link to look into becoming a missionary.  With the knowledge that I had no control in a middle school classroom, I applied for the missionary position, a program of Generation Transformation.  A few days after sending in my application, I started substituting in an elementary school, I was good at that. 

In March I was called for an interview, and I packed my bags and went to Oklahoma City.  For the rest of the month, I spent as much time as I could with my nephews as well as with my Grandma who was recovering from a stroke. 

In April my Grandmother’s health took a turn for the worse and we laid her to rest beside my grandfather who had died just months before I was born.  I also received the news that I had been accepted to the US-2 missionary program.  I spent many days doing recess duty and implementing already written lesson plans.  I enjoyed those days, especially the when evenings were full of me playing cars with my nephews.

During May school ended and the swimming pool opened.  While waiting to find out where I would be placed as a missionary, I watched soccer, and swam with my nephews at the local public pool. 

In June I was finally informed that my placement would be in Davis, California.  I found this out just hours before attending the Missouri Annual Conference.  At that event I heard Bishop Thomas Bickerton talk about his own calling, and decided that my calling was to be a clergy member in the United Methodist Church.  During vacation bible school that month I thought about how much would miss my church family but that I would be going where God had called me to go. 

In July I went on a mission trip as a youth leader to Oklahoma.  After that trip I will never be able to hear the song, “Awesome God” without memories of dancing in the parking lot on a hot morning while a van load of teenagers watched.  I then traveled to New York City to begin missionary training.  At the God Box and then Stony Point, New York, I learned what it would take to be in ministry with. 

On August 12, two amazing events happened.  Flint Isaac, the fourth son of my friend, was born and I was commissioned as a missionary of the United Methodist Church.  I packed up my life in and in a few short days my Dad and I were off driving to Davis, California.  After the two and a half day drive my dad took a plane back to Missouri, and then I found myself in Davis trying to be a missionary with the campus ministry of the Cal Aggie Christian Association. 

In September, school at the University of California, Davis started, and the staff of the CA House rallied for success of the ministry.  I officially joined the US Masters Swimming program through Davis Aquatic Masters.   This required me to learn how to swim properly.

In October I turned 27, learned to swim the fly, backstroke, and breast stroke in addition to the freestyle crawl.  I was also a participant and worker in our fundraiser. 

November began my search for a seminary with an event called Exploration 2013.  In Denver, Colorado, I visited Iliff Theological Seminary.  I pretty much fell in love with it that day. 

In December I learned to make my own biscuits and gravy, since no one out here eats this for breakfast.  I watched as “MLS Cup dreams came true in Sporting Blue.”  I spent most of the rest of the time counting down the days until I can visit home, which is tomorrow, so have a merry Christmas, I will post more next year.  

Ministry Is Like Soccer

I remember the exact minute I became a Sporting Kansas City fan.  It was the 89^th minute of the New England Revolution at Sporting Kansas City game on July 30^th, 2011.  Teal Bunbury used his left foot to put a strike in the back of the net, and the crowd at Sporting Park erupted with celebration. 

Why would ministry be like soccer?  For starters soccer is a low scoring game, and a low scoring game requires patience, lots of patience.  However, you can’t just sit back and wait, you also have to have lots of perseverance.

When a play starts in the back line and includes a few passes and a cross and maybe even a header in there, and finishes with a goal kick from the other teams goalie, (because the shot did not find the net) you don’t have time to hang your head, you have to get the ball back and make start a new run of play. It is the same as when you are trying to build a ministry, a campus ministry in my case.  When I do advertising and outreach and still only a few people show up for worship, I don’t have time to feel defeated, it is time to do outreach and advertising and hopefully more people will show up next time.  Just like when you defend a goal kick, make a run, then shoot, and maybe one time in the whole game that shot will end up in the back of the net.

Congratulations to Sporting Kansas City on being the 2013 MLS Cup Champions.  

Advent

I think that it is time for an update on the life of Cindy.  I am sitting in my room after a successful holiday party.  We had good food, entertainment and did lots of holiday stuff.

Remember that time back in October I wanted to slow down and remember that I was God's beloved.  Well tonight during our holiday party, there was a moment when we all just slowed down.  The room was full of about 40-50 people and we were listening to someone share the gift of music.  They were playing on the piano, only the piano was not in the room.  No one was watching the performance, and everyone in the room was just listening.  That was cool, and it was a good time to just remember who we where and what we were doing there.  

I needed to fix punch for this event.  So not really knowing about how to fix punch, I called my Mom.  She took time out of her busy schedule to explain to me how to make the punch.  It turns out that the punch was really good.  I always know that I can count on my Mom, because I know that when they day is done, my Mom is still my biggest fan.