One of my all time favorite songs
starts out, “I had a dream I was by the Jordan.” I recently had my own dream that I was by the
Jordan. Actually, I was by Bunny River,
which is an overflow tributary of the water shed of the Salt River. Named by your truly, Bunny River runs through
the land where I grew up.
In this dream, could remember
everything in my life that happened before my brain surgery, but nothing in the
7 years since. I thought about what I
remembered; a time when fastpitch softball was the only thing that mattered, my
awe and fascination with the projectors at my high school job at a movie
theater, thinking that my 4 older siblings were the coolest and most popular and
coolest kids in their grades and wanting to be just like them.
I was overwhelmed with sadness
when I realized that I could not remember the past seven years. During my lament 2 of my childhood dogs,
Gallie and Shiloh, came to comfort me. They each had one shoe from my favorite
pair of tennis shoes, which I have worn for the past 3-4 years.
In those shoes I had walked
across a river near New York City, cheered on Sporting Kansas City as they
headed to the top of the table, and climbed to a mountain top in
California. The shoes attended classes
at the University of Missouri, played for hours with nieces and nephews and
even attended the 2013 Missouri Annual Conference. And I could remember those
events now.
I could only remember events that
had happened while I owned the shoes, so I had so many questions like how did I
get to the University of Missouri, what led me to New York and California, and
the Missouri Annual Conference. Why was
I at a soccer game standing next to some girl I didn’t recognize? (sorry Lindsey, I will never forget you and
your awesomeness)
And that is when I woke up
[still] bound for the promise land.
This dream made me realize how
precious the past 7 years have been. I
have lived my life to the fullest every day, even though it wasn’t always easy. I realized how precious my college ministry
was to me, after all my college ministry and Erin Medin are part of the reason
I was at the Missouri Annual Conference.
With Mexico United Methodist Church as part of the reason I was in
California and New York. Truman State
University is how I got to the University of Missouri. And how can I forget Jenny Massa inviting me
to the Flame Ministries where I met Lindsey who introduced me to Sporting
Kansas City.
When I was 14 years old I decided
that I would treat everyone I interacted with like they were the most important
person in the world. That has been a
great experience. You never know when you won’t be able to see someone again,
so be present, grateful and respectful around everyone you get to interact
with. Also, walk humbly with God. Walking humbly with God will do wonders for
you. It will.
I know that lots of this post probably
only makes since to me. Something I have
always been worried about losing is my memory.
I know that the part of my brain that the tumor is in controls my
movements, but stillmy memory is important to me. Just as my memories are. It is important to me to understand how that
14 year old girl I was became the awesome person I am today. Thank you all so much for reading my post and
sending me cards and telling me what an inspiration I am, it really is your
kindness that propels me. Thank you.
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