Grow

I am a US-2 missionary for the United Methodist Church. I do not take my position lightly, neither do the other people who have that title, or who have had the title of being a US-2 missionary.  One of the values of our program is growth.  I looked back at my time so far in California and I have noticed that I have grown.  I am not at all the person who went to interview, training or showed up in California.      

What I see as my biggest area of growth is social holiness.  As I have mentioned before, I always thought that social holiness should take a backseat to personal piety. Now that I understand true social holiness, I see that the two have to balance each other out. 

I have noticed that in this geographical region there are few mega churches, few churches built to support the thousands of Sunday morning worshippers. With church attendance dwindling, these Californians have really figured this ecumenical thing out. 

I was reading a bunch of vital stats from last year in Missouri.  One question asked how many young adults were involved in a group that was for the purpose of intentional faith development.  My local United Methodist Church answered 1.  That 1 was me.  In California I might still be the one United Methodist between the ages of 20 and 30 involved in intentional faith development, but with the ecumenical values I know the handful of Lutherans, the Episcopalians, and Presbyterians, who are also in my shoes.  Hearing about the lives and calls of people who are older than me is infinitely valuable, but living the discernment and journey with others who have calls and are my age is just awesome on a whole new level.      

I have also grown in personal holiness.  When I first came to my placement site, I was not really sure where God was.  I knew Jesus was with me, and already here, but my welcome to this place was not what I had thought it would be.   

I guess I was sort of waiting for someone to quote that song by Phillip Phillips, you know, “Just know you’re not alone, we are going to make this place your home.”  No one ever said that to me.  Even though I couldn’t see it then, I know now that God was right here with me the time.  

Everyday I Go Out of My Way to Make Sure My Hair Looks Messed Up

“I will NOT where a wig.”  My adamant voice informed my father on the night I was diagnosed with a brain tumor.   My loving sisters even offered to shave their heads in solidarity with me.  Turns out I only had to shave half of my head, and did not need to receive chemo. 

A few years later while walking alone on the campus of Truman State University, I realized the privilege that I had.  I was so lucky to have had a benign tumor, to live in a place with a world class neurosurgeon nearby, and to have insurance to cover the surgery required.  The privilege did not stop there, I was continuing my education at a University, drove a car I had bought with money I had earned, and could cut my hair any time anyway that I wanted.

That night, I brought myself to tears with my own thoughts.  First, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of humility at how I had been granted a miracle, and how I had been in the less than 10%, the people who survived the risky surgery and made a complete recovery. Second, I knew that there were children who didn’t have my privilege, children facing chemo with no insurance, no access to doctors, and no hair.  I decided that at least once in my life, I would grow my hair out so long that I could donate it to a child who has none. 

 Donating my hair was a piece of my entire life goal.  I want to be remembered as a caring Christian, someone who left all of her gifts on the table to help those in need.  Growing my hair to an acceptable donating length was a process that started in October 2012.  That was the month that I was told I could not finish OT school.  The end of 2012 was a dark time in my life, I had my family but beyond them, I had very little in my future.  In March of 2013, I interviewed to be a US-2 missionary.  Today I am a US-2 missionary, I have a potential future in seminary and ordination, I have so much privilege still, and I plan to use my privilege to help those who don’t have privilege, and need some help. 

It is so important for me to remember that even when I had nothing in my life, I still had something, something of value that I could give to someone else.  This week it was my hair, and I will always look for ways to help people.   

   

March-ing

Personally, I love the season of Lent.  A lot of people get really liturgical and that makes me really happy.

 

Last year during Lent I was at the office of the Oklahoma Annual Conference.  A man from the Oklahoma Indian conference prayed in Cherokee.  I really didn’t know what he said, but at the end of that prayer he said in English, “May the Holy Spirit blow threw you bones as if they were a whistle.”  Or something like that. 

Some of you may know that several years ago I was in a very traumatic car accident.  By very traumatic I mean that everyone walked away.  Everyone except me, I was life flighted from the scene.  My femur was shattered, and walking again became my new challenge.  Every year I celebrate walking again.  However, I still have a medal rod in my femur.  The rod runs from my hip to my knee inside my femur, where people have bone marrow.

The thing about this rod, is that most of the time I cannot feel it, but I know that it is there.   However some times when it rains, or gets super cold outside or even really hot, I can feel that there is a rod in my leg.  When I feel this rod, my behavior changes ever so slightly.  Many people ask me why I am limping, or in some cases people ask why I am walking like a bear.

That rod is like the Holy Spirit.  Always present within me, and impacting my outward behavior.   What do I want my outward behavior to look like now?  I want people to see Christ’s love for them as I allow ministry to flow through me.   

This season of Lent I am hoping for the Holy Spirit to show me light, the way, and love.  I will be doing my part to stay in love with God, I pray that during this season you will be doing your part to stay in love with God.